Second Chance
by The Mominator
Summary: Sandra finds herself back in 1975. Wondering if she could change the past, but can she? Should she?
1. Chapter 1

**Second Chance**

**Chapter One**

She holds her head in her hands. "What the hell?" She whispers to herself as she surveys her surroundings. An unfamiliar pub and she is on the floor. She hears the sound of a television, and a man announcing the date, the 16th of March 1975. "1975? Must be an old television show."

"Ma'am are you alright," the voice is familiar.

She smiles, "Ma'am you're older than I," she looks up and is very much surprised at the sight before her; she is taken aback, "Gerry?"

"Yes my name's Gerry. Do I know you?" He asks as he helps her to her feet.

"Gerry, stop messing about. It's me Sandra."

He frowns slightly, then winks at her, "Sandra, well hello Luv."

"No you stupid sod…." She stares at the young man with Gerry's voice.

He hikes up his pants, "Don't have to call me names, I was only trying to help."

Sandra waves her hand in the air, "Yes of course, I'm sorry."  
_I've only seen one photo of Gerry as a young man and oh my God_, "I'm just a little confused," she whispers.

"What?"

"Nothing," she shakes her head. "Nothing." She once again scans the room, "Where," she clears her throat, "I mean, what is the name of this pub?" She lowers her head, painfully aware of her unusual question. "And," she hesitates, "How did I end up on the floor?"

"The Old Trout, and I don't know, I was just coming back from the loo and well, there you were." She moves with shaky legs, he gently takes her arm, steadying her. He has seen many drunken people in his life and she is not one. "You fancy a drink or should I call you a cab?"

"A drink?" She shakes her head, _Am I drunk now_? "No," she says aloud.

"No, for a drink or the cab?" He asks.

"No, ah yes alright I'll have a…."

He interjects, "White wine, am I right?"

She has to smile at the young man, _1975 Gerry would be what? _she calculates the dates in her mind...._25_. She lowers her gaze for a moment.

"Maybe I should just call you a cab." He takes a step back.

She reaches out and grabs his arm, "No, no I'm all right white wine would be lovely, thank you."

Once again, he takes a gentle hold of her arm, "Come on then, lets sit at a table." He leads her to a table for two. He releases his hold as she sits down, "Be right back."

"Thanks Gerry." He flashes a quick smile and she smiles in return. _Ok_, she rubs her forehead. W_hat the hell is going on? _She goes through the events of the day. _Woke up, went to work, went to the pub and then, then what? I wake up on the floor of a pub that went out of business and Gerry sounds like Gerry but looks like a kid. It's a dream, that's all. A dream, the most vivid dream I have ever had. _She looks around the room_, Why do I get the feeling that I'm wide awake and..._

"Here you go," his voice interrupts her thoughts. He sets the glass before her as he sits in the seat across from her.

He takes a quick sip of ale, "So Sandra, do you have a last name?"

"Pullman, Sandra Pullman."

"I'm Gerry…."

"Standing," She interjects, "I know."

He leans forward, "Exactly how is it that you know me, but I don't know you?"

She ignores his question and answers him with a question of her own, "Are you a cop?"

"For a few years now, how did you know that?"

"Do you know?" she hesitates, "Gordon Pullman?"

As he sits back in the chair he raises the pint to his lips, repeating the name aloud, "Pullman, Pullman…ah no, is he your husband?"

"No he's my fath…." She looks up and the frown on his face is not a surprise to her. "No he's my fathers' cousin." Good cover Sandra, she thinks to herself.

"He's a copper, is that it? And you think we all know one another."

"No," she picks up her glass filled with wine, "No, just making conversation."

He lifts the pint filled with ale to his lips, "Sorry I snapped, been a bad day, week, month, ah shit….sometimes I think I should just quit now."

"Don't do that," she says with an air of confidence. "Things will get better, you'll see."

He leans forward, "You sound very sure of yourself Sandra Pullman," he sets the pint down softly on the table. "Like you know for sure."

She chuckles slightly, _I am_. "I ah, once thought of being a police officer myself but ah….are you married?"

"No, you?"

"No, career keeps me busy."

"What career is that?"

She quickly picks up her glass and takes a long slow sip_, think of something boring_, _something you know Gerry would not be interested in_, "I run a training company specializing in creative problem solving." She continues "I was engaged once but I broke it off, he became too possessive."

"I understand," nodding his head slowly, "Met a bloke like that a few months ago, only he beat her up so bad that her own mother barely recognized her. He sat in jail for about a week then was let go, yesterday," he exhales loudly, "He found out where she was living and beat her again....only this time no one called the cops….it was too late." He looks up into her eyes, "She was dead."

Sandra places her hand over his, "I understand." She remembers him telling her that story one night, it upset him very much even in 2009.

He smiles slightly, "Yeah I think you do." He hits the table with his fist, "Alright, enough of that, fancy a dance?"

"What?"

He stands, "You know," he wiggles his hips and she chuckles warmly at the sight. He holds out his hand, "Come on."

The first song they danced was fast the next one starts slow and as he pulls her closer to him, he can feel her stiffen up, "I won't bite."

"Sorry," she shakes her body in an attempt to loosen up. She takes his hand.

"If you'd rather not dance, it's alright."

She rests her head on his shoulder, "No Gerry I'm enjoying this a great deal, you're a marvelous dancer."

"Alright then," he twirls her around the floor with ease and she follows him as if they have danced together many times before. Each time he spins her and brings her back she finds herself returning closer and closer to him.

She raises her head to ask him a question and the sound of the door opening causes her to hesitate. She stops dancing and stares at the figure of a man, a very familiar figure. "Oh my God," she exclaims then immediately covers her mouth.

Gerry turns his head to follow her gaze, he looks back at her and her face is ashen, "Sandra," he lowers his head to catch her eye, "Are you alright?"

**More to come**

**Later**

**The Mominator**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

Sandra turns away from him, "I, I have to get out of here," she jogs over to the table they had occupied only minutes ago, and begins searching, looking behind the chair, and under the table.

"What's the matter?" Gerry follows close behind, "Sandra, what are you looking for?"

"My bag, where's my bag?"

He shrugs his shoulders, "I don't know."

"Help me Gerry," she pleads, "Help me look."

He stands still for a moment, feeling a connection to her with the familiar way she says his name, but why? How? "Sure," he says effortlessly. He returns to the place that he found her, "Sandra," he holds up a bag, a very large bag. "Blimey what you got in here?"

She hastily removes it from his grasp and unbeknownst to her, her mobile falls to the floor, "Cheers," she heads for the door, leaving Gerry dumfounded. He bends down to pick up the unfamiliar devise, studying it intently. She turns back to face him, "Aren't you coming?" She asks then notices the object in his hand.

"Is this a toy?" he asks.

She holds out her hand, "Yes" he hands it to her. "My niece left it at my flat the other day." She stuffs it back into the bag, "Coming?"

Not thoroughly convinced he hesitates for a moment, then observing her nervous demeanor, he takes a step forward, "Sure, where are we going?"

"Home, can you please take me home?" He escorts her out the door and through the car park. He unlocks the passenger side door of the car and opens it for her, "Who was that Sandra? The bloke that walked into the pub, he scared you. Didn't he?" He continues not giving her time to answer any of his questions. "Was he your ex?"

"My father," she answers as Gerry closes the door, she watches him as he crosses in front of the car, she exhales thankful that he did not hear her response.

He opens the drivers' side door, "Your father?" He enters the vehicle, "Did you say your father?" He closes the door, then turns his body to face her.

Sandra keeps her focus forward, _Damn he heard that, of course he would he's 25 not 59 and his hearing is_….she can feel him staring, _why wouldn't he? _

"Sandra?"

"No of course not, you must be hearing things."

"Bull, my hearing is excellent and you said father, now maybe father-in-law but you said that you were never married, who is he?" He puts the key in the ignition, "You were scared and I want to know why?"

"How about this Gerry, it's none of your business," she exclaims then sits back in the seat staring at the ceiling. He continues to stare at her, _yes its Gerry and he is a copper, a nosy one at that. _"I can't explain it now." She lowers her head, "I would really appreciate it if you could drive me home."

"Alright," he nods his head as he turns the key in the ignition. "Where to?"

She gives him the address and as they enter the neighborhood, the sights are not familiar to her at all. They drive down the street and he cannot seem to find number 12. "Sandra have I driven past?" Her heart sinks, as does her head, she does not answer him. He parks the car on the side of the street and turns off the engine, "Are you sure you live here?"

She surveys the neighborhood once again. At first, she thinks, _get_ _out of the car and run_, _run to where? I have no where to go and I would be alone, in a world that I only remember as a_ _14-year-old girl. _She takes a quick glance at the young man sitting next to her_. For some reason I've found Gerry and I have to find a way to convince him that I'm not, as he woul__d say, 'a __nutter'._

"Sandra?"

"I, I'm not sure of anything anymore," she whispers, well aware that he heard her.

"You want to come back to my place?" He asks shyly. The scowl on her face causes him to sit back in the seat. "No, Luv….I mean Sandra, not that, I promise."

"I wasn't serious Gerry and yes I would."

"Great," he says excitedly as he turns the key in the ignition, "I mean great."

His flat is a mere shell of the one that he occupies in 2009, however it is surprising neat and it is furnished with the best furniture a PC can afford.

"Nice Gerry," Nodding her head with approval, as she stands still in the middle of the room, "Very nice."

"Ah, it's alright; the only thing I can say about this place, is that it's mine." He shucks off his jacket. "Drink?"

"No, no thanks." She removes her coat and folds it over her arm.

"Here," he reaches for her coat, "Let me take that, sit, have a seat."

She sits in the middle of the sofa. "Maybe I will have that drink, any wine?"

"Of course, red or white?"

"White, please."

He scurries into the kitchen and she can hear him uncork a bottle. Moments later, he returns. He hands her the goblet filled with wine. She thanks him then takes a quick sip. He has yet to move away from her, "What?"

He sits on the coffee table, "Sandra maybe I should take you to hospital, you could have hit your head earlier in the day and...."

"Humoring me, is that it Gerry?"

"Hold on now," he holds up his hands in defense, "Put yourself in my place, I heard you say that he was your Dad."

"Alright," she sets the wine glass down. Taking a chance to prove who she is, he watches as she removes something from her bag. "My drivers' license," she holds it out for him. "What is the date of my birth?"

"1961?" He looks up into her eyes, "How is that possible?" He returns his eyes to the card, noticing the color and the writing, it is not like any DL he has ever seen. "This is not a valid license Sandra, I'm a copper and I have seen many….it does have a seal on it, if it's a forgery it's...." shaking his head as he hands it back to her. "Why would you have a fake ID with a birth year of 1961, when you are clearly forty...." he bites his lip, "Something." He picks up his glass of wine and stands, he then positions himself next to her. "That bloke at the pub he was your Dad, wasn't he?"

Panic sets in, then the tears start to flow, he may just be humoring me but..."Yes he was." Gerry places his arm around her shoulder, pulling her close to him. "What, you're not going to call the police on me?"

"I am the sodded police, remember?" He leans forward to look in her tear soaked eyes and she manages a smile, "And I want to help." He sits back in the seat, "Why exactly I'm not really sure, but...."

She leans forward and looks into his eyes, "But what?"

"I....you seem so sure of everything and you seem....I've never met you before but one thing I do know is people and you seem to me to be an honest person and I want to help you get over this."

"Get over this?" She says angrily.

"Yes get over this, what would you call it? Can you explain it?"

Shaking her head, "No I can't." Yes even in 1975 she snaps at him, she chuckles slightly, "Sorry I snapped," she unconsciously pats his leg, "Thanks Gerry, I'm gonna need all the help I can get."

**Oh I am having fun with this one.**

**More to come and soon**

**Later**

**The Mominator**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

She sits back and finds herself nestled under his arm, "I'm so tired, I think I need a lie down," she says as she closes her eyes.

"You can have my bed, I'll sleep out here." No answer from her, "Sandra?" He stretches his neck to meet her eyes, her closed eyes. "Sandra?"

"Yes Gerry, I heard you," _I'm afraid to move_. "Thank you," she moves forward, then stands.

He escorts her to his bedroom; the curtains and bedspread are shades of brown, not dark but subtle, very calming. She climbs onto the bed and lies down on her side. He removes a blanket from the only chair in the room and covers her still form. "Sleep well," he says as he backs away from the bed continuing to stare at her. He turns away from her, _Ok, what am I gong to do with her._

He leaves the room closing the down behind him_, she must be a nutter but...The drivers' license was very strange. She really believes that bloke to be her Dad, how is that possible? _He runs his fingers through his hair_; she looks older than him, but...that weird little phone in her bag. _He moves quickly through the room and finds her bag, rummaging through he removes the strange looking phone. He opens the top, he chuckles slightly; "Looks like a communicator on Star Trek," he says as he hits a and the lights turn on. "Whoa, what the hell?" He hears movement in the other room and gently and quickly returns the phone to her bag. "Sandra?" he calls to her as he walks back toward the bedroom. He opens the door slowly, he can hear moans and she is mumbling. He tries to make out what she is saying but he can't, he once again leaves the room, this time he leaves the door ajar.

He lets out a lung full of air as he returns to the living room. He needs some sound and decides to turn on the television. He stares at the newscaster but the words he is speaking, not heard, all he can think about is the woman in his bed. He shakes his head trying to interrupt his thoughts, _a drink. I need a drink_. He pours himself a glass of whiskey as he stares at the man on the television, a familiar name is heard from and he listens intently.

_Gregory Morton, who was arrested last week for the murder of his estranged wife Gloria Spencer Morton, was found murdered this afternoon in his cell._

He can't help but smile at the news, should he be glad that a man lost his life, _a man yes, _he thinks _but not a monster. _He lifts the glass in the air, "Cheers Gloria, he'll never hurt anyone ever again."

His sleep was restless, one part of him wanted to believe her, why? He tried all night long to come up with a reason, none. The logical part of him told him he should call someone, "Who?" he sits up on the couch. "Maybe DS Pullman." he swings his legs and his bare feet meet the floor, "And tell him what?" he scrubs his face, "Shit," he shakes his head, "Nah I can't do that to her." He lies back down on the couch and closes his eyes, he sees her pretty face and soft blue eyes, and he has to smile.

"Gerry," he feels a hand on his arm, "Gerry wake up."

He bolts up from his lying position, "Sandra, what? Anything wrong?"

"No." she says with assurance, "I'm sorry I didn't mean to scare you."

He removes the blanket from atop his body, "You didn't scare me."

_I know_, she smiles, _big brave Gerry._ She finds herself staring at him, no lines on his face from a long and sometimes hard life, _well not that long_, she chuckles softly.

He can feel her eyes on him, "So, ah, did you have a good sleep?"

"Yes" she lies and he knows it.

"Hungry?"

"Yes I'm famished; don't remember having dinner last night."

"Fancy an omelet?"

She feels as if she should sound surprised, knowing Gerry's love for cooking, so she does, "You're going to fix an omelet?"

"Sure, cheddar cheese and bacon in it, alright?"

"That's sounds fine, thanks. I ah need to use the bathroom, be right back."

She retrieves her bag and makes her way to the small bathroom. She turns on the light and finds it hard to meet her face in the glass. She removes her brush and as she brushes her hair she catches a glimpse of herself, she looks as she does in 2009.

"You know," she forks up some of the omelet, "I think I know why I'm here," she places the food into her mouth. "My God Gerry these eggs are fantastic."

Gerry tops off her coffee, "Thanks." he places the coffee pot in the middle of the table. "Something to do with your Dad," he states with assurance.

"Yes I have to stop him."

"Stop him? From what?"

"My Dad, he will make a grave mistake and then, well his life will be over."

"Over?"

"In a few days my Dad is going to kill a man and though it may have been an accident or even in someone's defense he will cover it up." She knows in her heart that he must have had a good reason for what he did, but to bury it and turn away from not only his son but her as well, maybe, she can change that. "This mistake will ruin his life and I….I lost my father."

"He was killed on the job?"

"No," she lowers her head, "He kills himself," she whispers. She raises her head fully aware that he heard her. "All my life I lived under the delusion that he died of a heart attack but he took the cowards' way out." She stands and begins to pace around the tiny kitchen. "I've never said that before, he couldn't handle all that he had done."

"What had he, I mean what will? Blimey you know what I mean."

"He worked, I mean he works in vice and he is having an affair with a prostitute," she can't help but notice his raised eyebrows. "He….they have a child together a son. She dies, is murdered by her pimp, Ian Randall." She scowls as the thought of it all, "Does he have the balls to take care of his obligation? No,"she answers her own question. "He gives him to a women by the name of Jean Bennett and she drops him off at a church. What happened to him since, I don't know."

"This supposed to happen soon?" He points his finger at her, "And you're hoping to change that?"

"Yes, wouldn't you want a second chance if you were giving the opportunity?"

"What if you change all this and he decides, you know, ah...."

"He wouldn't abandon me Gerry."

"Sandra, he already has. He cheated on your Mum, had a son with another women and then….doesn't sound like a great bloke to me."

"Shut up, you didn't know him like I did. I knew him and...."

"And you were a little girl who loved him and....he was you Dad."

"I loved that man so much and one day he wasn't there anymore." She turns away from him, not able to look at him as she continues her tale. "Her name was Deidre Mortimer, she was 21 when she died and her son, my Dad's son was….4," she turns abruptly to face him, "Do the math. Yes she was only seventeen when she got pregnant, seventeen with my Dad's son." She pumps her fist rather than wanting to hit the wall, "Seventeen, his career would have been over but….not his life. He just ran away, from all of us, me, my Mom and his son." All my life I've put that man up on a pedestal and given my Mom grief."

"You were just a kid and you lost your Dad," he sits back in the chair. "I hope if I ever have kids they treat me that way, proud of what I do."

She turns her head to hide the smile, _Yes Gerry you have made some marital mistakes but all your daughters love you and indeed, they respect you a great deal._

He stands and with two quick steps is by her side, "I'll help you Sandra, I told you last night that I wanted to help."

She turns her head to face him, the young man with Gerry's voice, however in his eyes is the Gerry that she knows and...loves; she caresses his cheek full of stubble, "Thanks Gerry."

He touches her hand with his, she looks up and he looks down and their eyes meet, all that they had just discussed, forgotten, for a moment. She wraps her arms around his neck; he rubs her back in a circular and soothing motion.

She feels very secure in his arms_; oh, it has been a long time since anyone has held her to give her comfort. _She looks at the handsome face of the 25 year old, forgetting for a moment, exactly who he is, "Gerry," she says aloud.

"Yeah," he answers.

She lays her head on his chest, "Nothing, nothing at all, so ah when do you go on duty?"

"I don't, my boss told me to take a few days off, I ah….after Gloria was killed I sort of lost it and well now there is a nice hole in a wall."

"His office?" she asks not surprised at his reaction.

"Yeah, I thought the room needed a bit of air." He rubs his eyes, "He was so cold, the bastard, like he didn't even care."

"I'm sure he cared a great deal Gerry, but after so many years on the force you sort of hold things in, in the hope to soothe away the ugliness we see every day."

"You mean when I get older I'm gonna act like that sod?"

She smiles broadly, as she once again lays her head on his chest, "Never Gerry."

"We?" he steps back, "What do you mean we?"

"I'm a, well, I am," she opens her bag and removes the small case that contains her badge, "Detective Superintendent Pullman."

**More to come and much sooner (I hope)**

**The Mominator  
**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: A quick note to thank you all for reading this fic about the British show written by a Yank. **

**Thanks everyone. **

**Chapter Four**

He has to laugh, "You're a copper and a Detective Superintendent too, shit." He begins to pace around the room, "I get it now, all this, is what? A joke?"

"No, Gerry," she says solemnly, watching the scowl form on his face. "You believe me, don't you?"

He expels a long breath, "I don't know. This is so bizarre, like something from the Twilight Zone." He begins to pace again running his fingers through a head full of hair. He turns to face her, "What is going on?"

"I wish I knew," she says with an exasperated tone, "I really do. It seems to me that my Dad and I have been given a second chance to maybe right the wrongs."

"A second chance, huh?" He sits down next to her on the couch, "Alright," he slaps his thighs, "Where and when?"

"No," she shakes her head as she stands, "You should stay here, I'll do it alone."

"Alone?" He reaches for her hand, "No way, I'm going with you." He gently pulls her close to him as he stands, "I can't let you go alone." He raises his hands and cups her face, "I said it before and I'll say it again, I want to help. Anyway there must be a reason that you found me." He pulls her in for a much-needed embrace.

**Canning** **Town**

Sandra points to the dilapidated building, "There, that's the parlor."

Gerry parks the car directly in front, reaching for the door handle of the car, "You stay here," he says with a commanding tone.

She nods her head, seconds later, he is out of the car, "Wait a minute," she says aloud to no one. She opens the car door and exits the vehicle. Gerry is just opening the door when she catches up to him. "Don't argue with me Gerry, I'm a cop remember? And I can handle this."

"No doubt about that Sandra, but if you do then how in the hell do we explain you?" He doesn't wait for an answer he turns away from her and enters the building, she catches the door with her hand before it closes and watches him jog up the stairs. She remains motionless for a moment, debating within her mind whether to go up the stairs. "I'm going," she says aloud then hears a sound, as if something metal had hit the floor. She climbs the stairs and sees the shining metal, _Gerry's lighter_. She picks it up and stuffs it into her bag.

The first shot startled her, moments later she is halfway up the stairs and another shot rings out. To her trained ears, it sounded different. She opens the door hastily and it hits the wall, she sees her father standing in the middle of the room, with a gun in his hand. Before him is the form of a woman, who she knows to be Deidre Mortimer lying on the floor. She hears sobbing and spies her brother sitting on the floor knees up to his chest. Lying before him is Ian Randal she is sure about that. _Too late, we were too late_. She scans the room, looking for Gerry, _where did he go_? She hears a soft moan to her right and, "Oh my God, Gerry!" she runs to him and kneels down beside him. "Don't just stand there," she screams keeping her focus on her friend, "Get help, he needs help."

"I was to late Sandra, I'm sorry."

"No," she caresses his face, "Nothing to be sorry about." She takes a hold of his hand, then turns to face her father, "You've really fucked up this time."

"He saw what happened," Gordon points to Ian on the floor, "He was going to shoot me."

"He," Gerry coughs, "He was strangling the boy and then a shot rang out," he moans in pain as his body shakes, "Fuck it hurts."

"Stay still," she says softly.

"He," Gerry attempts to point toward Randall, "He was on the floor and then...he, he missed."

She turns her focus to her father, watching as he picks up the receiving end of the phone, "You have to tell what happened; you have to be honest about what you did and not cover it up."

He seems not to hear her and speaks softly into the phone, she listens intently, "Need an ambulance at 18 White Street. Someone's been shot." He pauses as the person on the other end is asking a question, "No I heard it from the street." He hangs up the phone.

Gerry coughs and she looks down at him, the blood has now covered most of his shirt. "Nothing's changed Sandra."

She turns to look at her father, who is now reaching for his son. She sees before her a stranger not the man who would take her on outings and tell her stories. The man she has ached for all these years, she shakes her head in despair, "I know Gerry," she looks down at him and brushes a hand across his forehead, "I know, don't talk."

"Who are you and what? Where did you come from?" Gordon asks as he walks toward them, hand and hand with his son.

"This," she holds up Gerry's hand, "PC Gerry Standing and he is my friend, my name is…." Gerry loosens his grip, she looks down and his eyes are open, not focused on her, they are blank. "Oh God No!" she screams.

The sweat is running down the side of her face, "NO!" she bolts up from her lying position. Her eyes focus in on the room, her bedroom, "Holy shit, it was a dream, no," she uses her hand to wipe away the sweat, "A nightmare, have to stop eating spicy foods right before bed." She removes the bed cover and places her feet on the floor, she begins to chuckle softly, "Wait till the guys hear this one."

If she could whistle a tune, she would as she walks the hallway toward UCOS. She opens the door, things are, as they should, thank God for that, she thinks as she gazes around the room. Sitting at their desks looking busy, however she knows better, are Jack and Brian. She stands with her hands on her hips. "Morning, guys."

"Morning, Sandra," Jack replies followed closely behind by Brian.

"Where's Gerry?" she says lightheartedly.

Jack turns a page of the newspaper that he is reading, "Gerry?" he looks up at her, "Gerry who?"

She smirks, "Funny Jack, very funny."

He frowns as he sits back in the chair, "What's funny?"

"Alright I'll play along, Gerry Standing, where is he off too?"

"Morning Guv," a voice says from behind.

Sandra turns to the sound of the voice, and standing before her is a man clearly in his late 50's, brown hair, with a multitude of gray seeping through, green eyes and very unfamiliar to her. She searches her mind for the date, "Ok guys, are we having an early April fool's day joke?"

"No," Jack says as he stands. "Sandra what is the matter?"

She steps back as he steps forward, "I want to know now, where is Gerry?" An incredible rush of fear feels her, she turns to Jack and then to Brian, "Gerry Standing."

"Gerry Standing, now who's playing an early April fool joke?"

"What happened to him?" She asks with a shaky voice.

"He was found shot dead in a rundown building along side a pimp named Ian Randal. It was discovered that Ian shot Gerry but no gun shot residue was found on Standing," Brian says casually.

"My father," she turns to Jack, "You always suspected," she sits down on the couch feeling as if she didn't, her body would meet the floor. "You discovered that my father shot Ian Randal, right Jack?"

"Yes Sandra we have discussed this before," he frowns as he catches Brian's gaze and shrugs his shoulders.

"Dreaming," she says aloud, keeping her focus forward, "Please let me be dreaming."

Jack sits down next to her, "Sandra."

"I'm dreaming right Jack?" Her eyes fill with tears, "Please tell me to wake up."

"Sandra whatever is the matter?" Jack asks.

"Yes Sandra, tell us," the stranger says imploringly.

She lets out a laugh, a bogus one however, the guys buy it, "Kidding, I'm just kidding."

Raised eyebrows from the guys but they believe her, they have to.

She goes through the motions of her day, trying very hard to like the NEW guy but whenever he talks she wishes he would just disappear and Gerry would take his place but she knows in her head that, that will never happen but her heart is aching for him.

_What have I done? I wished so hard to have my Dad with me and now, not only is he gone I destroyed another life and prevented the lives of four people, Paula, Amelia, Kaitlin and little Gerry, my God am I that selfish. My father shooting Ian Randall wasn't an accident he had to do it and he had every right to do it, saving the life of a little boy, but why? I still don't know why he covered it all up, yes maybe he would_ _have lost his job but not his life. Nothing I did was going to change that. You can't_ _change the past to appease yourself, it's, _"I'm sorry Gerry, I'm so sorry." The first drink she had wasn't enough she needed more and a great deal more. She finally closed her eyes and sleep does indeed come.

**That is all for now**

**Later The Mominator**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

Sandra wakes from the sound of a car horn, blasting. She holds her head in her hands expecting to have a headache after her excessive drinking last night. She opens her eyes to sunlight and surprisingly no headache, however she is not in her flat.

"Morning Sandra," he says from behind, which startles her slightly.

She gazes around the room before turning to see which Gerry she will see, _Am I still in 1975? S_he looks over her shoulder_. It didn't happen yet, _"It didn't happen yet," she says excitedly.

"What didn't happen?" he asks as he holds a beaker filled with coffee.

Ignoring his question, _Earlier, we have to get there earlier,_ is her only thought. She turns to face the young man, "We have to get there earlier Gerry."

Frowning as he holds out the beaker of coffee for her, "Get where?"

Suddenly realizing that she has not told him of her plan, she sits up. She removes the beaker from his hands, "Thanks."

"You didn't answer my question, where?"

Sandra tells him of her father, Ian Randall, Deidre and their son. He remains quiet throughout the story. "I had a dream, maybe even a premonition." She takes a short sip of coffee, nodding her head as her palette enjoys the flavor. "I thought that maybe I could change the past, but no." She pauses as a feeling of defeat goes through her, is she ready to accept the fact of her father's frailty? _Yes I am_.

"Are you alright? You seem different."

"I am. I've finally realized that it was meant to be and I have to accept that, my Dad chose to do everything he did, no one forced him and he could not live with the consequences." Slowly she turns away from him.

He sits on the edge of the bed facing the door, "Is there anything I can do?"

"No, I thought maybe I could change the past," shaking her head. "It's not a good idea, it affects too many people in the future, and nothing I do will ever change that, he was my Dad and I loved him but he had too many demons to live with and he couldn't get himself out of the mess that he alone created."

"You were so sure last night that you not only should change the past, you could."

"I know," She lifts the beaker filled with coffee to her lips, "I was going to ask you to help with something but," she stares into his eyes, remembering her nightmare of Gerry on the ground and the blood that covered his shirt. Picturing in mind her, his eyes, his open eyes that were not focused on her, they were blank. She rubs her burning eyes, "It wouldn't change anything, just make things worse."

A puzzled look crosses Gerry's face, "Okay," he shakes his head, "But there must be something, anything I can do to help."

"The only thing I can figure is that there must be something that I am supposed to do." _Certainly not try and stop him at the massage parlor but maybe before. _A feeling ofexcitement flows through her_. I can change the past, _she once again looks up into Gerry'seyes,_ can't go near that massage parlor. _

"Why?"

"Because I'm still here," she says softly. She sits erect, "Yes I'm still here."

"Maybe you should go to see him, talk to him and tell him," he stops in mid-sentence, "No that's a stupid idea."

Sandra places her hand over his, "No maybe you're right, maybe I could tell him that Deidre Mortimer is a friend of mine and that he has to help her get away from Ian, today."

"Sounds good but how would you know this guy?"

"Easy," she sits back on the bed, "Deidre told me all about it."

**An Hour Later**

Gerry and Sandra sit quietly outside the Pullman home.

Clearing his throat, "I'm not so sure this is such a good idea."

Sandra answers, keeping her focus on her old home, "Why not?"

"How are you going to explain to him not to visit his ah….girlfriend."

She exhales softly, "Easy, if I'm a friend," she pauses as she spies her Mum through the front window, "My Mum might hear," she says softly. "She doesn't need to know about all this now." She lowers her head and suddenly feels miserable about how she has treated her mother these 30 odd years. She returns her gaze toward her front door. "I think you're right Gerry, it's not a good idea," she says states flatly as she leans back, "Maybe I was sent here not to change the past but for me to finally let go, he decided his fate, no one else and after all these years I have to let it be." She turns her head to focus on an attentive Gerry. "Let's go."

"You sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure." She leans her head back and closes her eyes.

**A/N: Yes she does seem a bit confused, wouldn't you be? **

**More to Come**

**The Mominator**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

"Gerry," Jack says as he stands. "Gerry." He repeats his name a bit sterner this time. A few short strides and he is standing before his friend. "Please, stop," he grabs Gerry's arm, "Stop pacing and sit down."

Gerry stuffs his hands deep into his pants pockets, "What the bleeding hell are they doing in there?" He looks to his watch, "Four hours."

Jack offers a slight smile, "They're trying…."

"Are any of you family?" A tall, dark haired man asks clad in a white smock.

Sandra's mother rises to her feet slowly, "Yes I'm her mother," she says softly.

"Your daughter is in recovery, we had a difficult time removing one of the bullets it was very close to her heart, while the other one pierced her lung. Both have been removed." He lowers is head slightly.

"What, what is it?" Jack asks the question that was on everyone's mind.

"She hasn't awoken yet. Her heart stopped beating for two minutes, we just have to wait and see."

Gerry asks excitedly, "Wait and see, for what?"

"Anytime someone's heart stops for over a minute there may a chance," he pauses for a moment, "Of brain damage."

Grace places her hand to her forehead and without asking for assistance Jack and Brian help her to sit.

"You can see her if you wish, the nurse will be here in a minute to take you to her room."

The silence from the group is interrupted by the sound of a female voice, ushering them to follow her.

The little group remains frozen for a moment, "Come on then." Jack takes the first step, Grace has attached her arm to Jacks' and Brian is following in the rear, lagging behind is Gerry.

They come upon the open the door and Gerry pushes through and is the first to enter. One by one the rest follow, remaining quiet as they enter the room. They stand no more than two feet from the door, each waiting for the other to take the first move to get closer. The room is quiet of human voice but the heart monitor and the oxygen machine are filling up the void.

"Look at her," Gerry says as he gestures with his hand, "All the crap she's hooked up to." Wires appearing from under her hospital gown and oxygen being given throughthe tube in her nose. He takes a step closer, the others remain. He wipes his eyes trying his best not to let anyone see that his eyes are wet. "I'm sorry Sandra, I'm so sorry." He takes another step closer. "Please wake up and say something, yell at me, something."

**Earlier that Day**

It was supposed to be a routine interview. James Ryder, 50, was and is the prime suspect in a bank robbery, which caused the death of Simon Ward. Gerry and Sandra decide that today is the day to visit. Ryder opens the door after a few knocks from Sandra. After twenty years James Ryder has kept his classic good looks, flecks of gray in his hair and cobalt eyes, very piercing, Sandra finds herself staring. Gerry nudges her, without Ryder noticing.

"May I help?" He asks as he opens the door wider.

"Yes," Sandra flashes her badge, "Mr. Ryder, I'm Detective Superintendent Pullman; this is my colleague Gerry Standing." She replaces her badge into her pocket. "We'd like to ask you some questions concerning the robbery of…." Ryder turns quickly slamming the door in their faces at the same time. "Shit," Sandra exclaims as she reaches for the door handle, "I hate it when they run." She is inside the home, "Ryder," she calls to him. She hears a door slam and follows the sound.

Lagging behind is Gerry, "Sandra," he calls to her, "Forget it." He can hear the clicking of her heels. He too follows the sound, after a few slow steps he begins to jog. "Sandra," he calls to her, no longer able to hear the sound of her shoes. Through a large carpeted room then the kitchen. He finds an open door. He didn't hear the sound of a shot but lying on the ground, Sandra.

He runs over to her, "Sandra! Oh my God, no!" She is gasping for air; blood is coming out of her mouth. Her white blouse is covered in blood. He can see two bullet wounds in her chest. He lifts her head gently and lays her head on his lap. He remains still for a moment, his mind void of what to do. This isn't just a fellow officer on his lap, it is Sandra. He looks down at her and she manages to say, "Phone."

"What? Oh god," frantically he begins to search his pockets for his mobile, "This is Gerry Standing, UCOS, Officer down. Sandra Pullman, she's been shot we are at 145 Summerville Street, hurry."

He cradles her in his arms. "Sandra," rocking her gently, "You're gonna be alright. Sandra, can you hear me?" He caresses her face with his hand, her eyes are open and she manages to nod her head. He smiles broadly, "Alright then, you're gonna be alright."

He hears the sirens and soon he can hear footsteps on the wooden floor, he screams. "Here, we're back here." He looks down at her, "Sandra, they're…." Her eyes are now closed he calls to her, "Sandra, please."

The memory fills his mind and he shivers, "I should have followed her directly instead of just standing there, like a bloody old fool."

Gerry takes another step closer to the bed, Jack and Brian follow. Grace positions herself on the left side of the bed while the guys stand side by side, with Gerry in the middle, on the right side of the bed.

Gerry feels a hand on his shoulder, "How could you have known."

"Instincts, I used to have instincts about people."

"You still do, Ryder was a con man 20 years ago and fooled many people into thinking he was harmless."

"Still doesn't make me feel better."

They remain in the room for over an hour without even a slight move from her, she remains quiet and still.

One by one they leave the room returning periodically throughout the night.

**The Next Afternoon**

"You know," Brian is the first one to speak as they arrive to her room. "It's been said that some unconscious people are aware of what is going on around them."

"How is that possible?" Gerry asks as he stuffs his hand into his pants pocket.

"The mind is an amazing thing."

"Oh bollocks," Jack exclaims, "She's asleep, she can't hear us."

"Ah," Brian raises a finger in the air, "But can we be sure?"

"Whether she can or can't I hope she'll forgive me."

"Oh bloody hell will you all shut up." Sandra exclaims with closed eyes.

"Sandra," Gerry says her name excitedly, "You're awake."

"Brilliant observation Gerry," Brian's comment causes all in the room to smile.

"Sandra holds out her hand, waving to Gerry, "Come here, closer."

He hesitates for a moment, taking a step with a little help from a push from Jack, she motions for him to bend down closer to her, whispering so only he can hear, "It wasn't your fault, it was mine. Stop blaming yourself, understand."

"How?" Gerry straightens up, "Did you hear?"

"Yes I heard all of you, thank you."

"Sandra," Grace says from the left side of the bed.

"Mum," she says with a smile.

"They never left; they've been here all night."

She looks back toward HER BOYS, "No wonder they all look like shit."

"She's back," Gerry says excitedly as he rubs his hands together.

An unfamiliar voice is heard from the doorway, "Alright, that's all for now, she must get some rest, you can all come back later."

"We'll be back," Gerry takes a hold of her hand, "I'm sorry Sandra."

"I know you are," she pauses to take a long breath, "It was a stupid thing for me to do."

"Bloody well stupid," Jack says as he pats her arm.

"How was I to know the bastard had a gun?"

"I told you she could hear us."

"Only the bickering, Brian" she pauses to take a cleansing breath. "That was all I heard." She tries without success to sit up. "You had better go before Nurse Ratchet comes back."

"Nurse Ratchet," Gerry looks toward the door, "Nah, she looks…." Sandra cuts him off.

"Please Gerry don't say it. Go on now; I'll see you all later."

"Come on you lot,' Jack waves his hand to call to them, "Drinks on me."

"Wish I could join you."

"Soon Guv, soon," Gerry says with a smile.

"Grace," Jack calls to her. "Would you like to join us?"

She hesitates, "Go on Mum," she takes a hold of her mother's hand. "I'm sorry."

Grace frowns, "Oh Sandra, what is it now."

"You have to make this difficult, I just want to say that I'm sorry for some of the things that I have done to you and some of the things that I have said."

Grace bends down and places a kiss on her daughters' cheek. "We've both said things and done things through the years to maybe hurt one another, maybe to make sure that each one of us was feeling the pain."

Sandra nods her head slowly, "Yes," she closes her eyes for a moment to focus, "May take some time but I think, no I hope we can change."

"Better be soon Sandra, I'm not," she pauses for a moment, "We're not getting any younger."

Sandra bites her lip for a moment, wanting to answer that remark, but suddenly realizes that she is very much like her mother. Snide remarks seem to come easy to the both of them. She smiles and a slight chuckle escapes her. "You're right; go on now the boys are waiting, I'll see you later."

That is all

The Mominator


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: My apologies for the delay in the writing of this fic, since I began writing FF I was always good for a chapter a week, reason for the delay, damned if I know. Hope you enjoy the rest.**

**Chapter Seven**

During the two weeks that Sandra spent in the hospital, her recovery was moving along well. She wanted to leave as soon as she could. As always she pushed herself to get better, after only 10 days she was certain that she could leave, her doctor disagreed.

Though her mood was solemn, she always seemed to liven up when the guys came to visit. Her eyes would light up when she would see them, especially Gerry. He turned out to be the most comforting of the three. Every time he would visit, she found herself remembering, what she now knows to be a dream, the young man who went out of his way to help her and her father. It does make her sad that it is not possible to go back and change the past, but she did come to a grand realization, it is the past and she is alive and well in the present. He was a good father, but he was a man, like many other men, he made mistakes, and his mistake caused him to be lost and in the end alone.

"Morning," a voice calls to her from the door. "What happened to your roommate?"

"She went home this morning," she sits up in the bed, "You're here early Gerry." She pulls up the sheet then folds it, "What's wrong?"

He frowns as he sits on the edge of the bed, "Nothing," he takes her hand in his, "Stop it Sandra, we're fine. We miss you, and yes it's not the same without you not there. But we're managing." He releases his hold, "Well maybe not that good."

"Tell me Gerry, tell me what's happened?"

"He didn't mean it."

"Who? Who didn't mean it?"

"Brian, he," Gerry pauses as he takes a deep breath. "It was laying right there on the table and we needed a DNA match."

"What was lying there?"

"A, a condom," he says barely above a whisper.

Sandra pulls on his arm, "Did you say a condom?" She lies down on the bed as she covers her face with her hands. Gerry watches as her body starts to move.

"Sandra, are you laughing?"

Sandra removes her hands from her face and asks, "Strickland came into the office and saw it, didn't he?"

"Yes it was in an evidence bag but there it was just lying on Brian's' desk and….." Gerry starts to laugh. "Strickland absolutely red; I thought his head was going to explode."

"It's nice to hear your laughter," Doctor Adams says as he enters the room. "I have examined your most recent tests and, well, you can go home tomorrow."

"Best damn news I've heard in a long time, except for what I'm missing at work."

**The Next Day**

"Gerry," Sandra says as she sees him by the open door.

"We drew straws to see who would come to pick you up and take you home," he enters the room. "And I won."

"Marvelous, grab that bag and let's get out of here."

"Miss Pullman," Nurse Peters says as she stands behind a wheelchair.

"I don't need that."

"Hospital rules."

Two sets of eyes are staring at her, she turns to Gerry, "Come on Sandra, get in the chair." With one hand carrying a bag, he reaches for her with the other and escorts her across the room to the waiting chair. Piled upon her lap are multitudes of flowers.

The ride across town is quiet as Sandra stares out the window of the car, taking in all the sights and sounds. "It seems as if I was away a long time, never thought I would miss all this, this mess."

He steers the car to the side of the road and parks the car directly in front of her house.

Gerry exits the car and within moments, he is on the passenger side of the car, once again he holds out his hand and she takes it willingly. She moves slowly up the stairs.

"You sit and I'll get the bag." When he returns with the bag, she is as he said, sitting on the couch. "Have to get the flowers, be right back." She smiles as she watches him once again leave the house and moments later returns with the flowers. "Where, ah, where should I put them?"

Sandra points out the locations with her finger "Put one on that table and one in the kitchen and the rest on the dining table."

"The lads will be here in the morning, you need to get your rest today," he says as he positions the flowers exactly where she instructed him. After accomplishing the task, he rubs his hands together, "Cup of tea?"

She nods her head, "Yes, thank you." She watches for a moment as he turns his back and heads for the kitchen. She smiles as she closes her eyes and lays her head back remembering the young man who went out of his way; actually, he has, in the past few weeks, gone out of his way to help her and her Mum.

He returns with a brewing pot of tea and two beakers. "I was going to bring out some biscuits, but," he pauses, "They're hard as rocks," he pours the tea. "You'll need some food, your refrigerator is empty."

She picks up the beaker, "It usually is, you know I don't cook much."

"Not to worry, I'll take care of that. So," he sits next to her on the couch, "What you fancy for dinner?"

"Oh anything that doesn't look and taste like it was cooked in a microwave," she takes a quick sip of tea. "Chicken? Fish?"

"Right then, after I finish cleaning out the old food I'll get to the market."

When he returns, Sandra is asleep, peaceful from the look of it. He gets to the kitchen and begins to prepare dinner. Every few minutes or so he takes a quick peek at her sleeping form.

Whether it was the aroma of the food from the kitchen or her aching back, she awoke. "Gerry," she calls his name.

He turns toward her wiping his hands on a towel, "What," he says with a touch of annoyance, then bites his lip. "I….is something wrong?"

Shaking her head, "No, not at all," she pats the couch with her hand, "Come here and sit down." He tosses the towel onto the table and complies. "I want to thank you for all that you've done."

"Cooking a meal?" He shrugs his shoulders.

"No," she pats his hand, "No, not just that, for visiting every day, for sneaking in sweets, for that mug of yours looking at me when I woke up." She adjusts her position on the couch and he offers a hand, she waves him away, "It's alright I got it."

He turns his head toward the kitchen, "I had better check the," she grabs his arm.

"Its fine, let me finish," she pauses. "I had a dream about trying to change the events that lead up to my Dad's death, you were there."

He smiles, "Me," he says surprisingly.

"Yes, you were….24 years old and," she bows her head. "And very good looking," she looks up into his eyes that now have the same sparkle she remembers from her dream. "You were as confused as I was as to why I was there, looking like I do now, but you went out of your way to help me. We tried to change what happened at the massage parlor but it didn't work at all." She lowers her head, "You were shot along with Randall," a trickle of moisture runs down her cheek and he lightly brushes it away. "All these years of missing him and putting him up on a pedestal. I have come to the realization that he was just a man, who had flaws. He loved me I know that, hell I'm sure he loved my Mum too, but he found himself in a deep hole and he wasn't able to find someone to talk with about it." She looks up and he flashes the slightest but sweetest smile she has ever seen, she grabs onto his hand and squeezes it every so lightly. "Like I do, thank you," he leans over as she raises her arms to wrap them around his neck.

"I almost lost my mind when you got hurt, it was my fault."

Still embracing she says, "No it wasn't, it was mine. I should have waited for back up." She releases her hold and leans back, "You are not to blame."

"It's hard, I don't what I'd do if anything ever happened to you, you've change my life. I didn't think that was possible after so many years of living it."

"Ah, you weren't that bad, just a bit of a boozer and carouser." Expecting a snide remark from her friend, she lowers her head to catch his eyes to see if he's trying to think of comeback. "Gerry," she tugs on his shirtsleeve.

"You still think that don't you?"

"No," she tugs on his sleeve with a bit more force and he lets her pull him toward her. "It was just a…." she exhales, "I'm sorry."

"I….I think I love you Sandra." He looks into her eyes, "I have for a while now, you don't have to say it back, to appease me."

"Gerry, I do love you." She raises her arms and once again they embrace, "Gerry?"

"Yes."

"I think the Chicken is burning."

**That is all**

**Later**

**The Mominator**


End file.
